Harry Potter and the psychotic MarySue
by Natsuko
Summary: A new student from America comes to Hogwarts! OH MY GOSH, WHAT WILL HAPPEN? This is SO HARD to predict! (I'm extremely sarcastic, as you can see)
1. The Outstanding Puella

Harry Potter and the psychotic Mary-Sue  
  
.  
  
Author's note: This is a parody. If you didn't figure it out by the title then you're retarded or something. I love fictional characters, like "new generation" things UNLESS they're Mary-Sues. MS's ruin it all for fictional characters, and give them a bad name! Save the Fictional characters! Kill the Mary-Sues!  
  
Oh yeah, and many errors are made on purpose so don't go flaming me if Harry speaks like an American.  
  
.  
  
Harry was on the train, as bored as ever with his friends, Ron and Hermione, when suddenly SHE came in.  
  
She was lovely. Beauty was written all over her. She had long, silvery, straight, black hair with natural blue highlights and dazzling, big, golden green, almond-shaped eyes. Her lips were soft and pink. They were almost identical to Angelina Jolie's, but much nicer. She had long and thick eyelashes. Her eyebrows were perfect and thin. She had a slender body and was tall. She had the perfect curves. Her skin was tanned bronze. She was wearing a faded, jean mini-skirt and high-heal, platform, black, leather, knee-high boots with golden chains and a baby-blue tank-top that had a picture of a pair of wings and a halo, in the middle of the wings there was the word "angel" in caps with a curvy bubble-letter font with hearts, stars and flowers in white.  
  
Harry blushed.  
  
"She's a babe. She's damn fine." Said Ron.  
  
"Grr. she's mine!" Harry said without thinking, then noticed both Ron and Hermione stared at him like he were Christina Aguilera with decent clothes on!  
  
"Then go on and talk to her!" said Hermione.  
  
Harry stood up and walked towards her. She was talking on her tiny baby- blue and metallic pink cell phone, that had a bunch of cute key chain charms (stars, hearts, flowers, angels, wings, halos).  
  
"Hi, my name is Hurry, I mean Harry. Harry Potter." He said shyly.  
  
"Oh, hi! My name's Anya Girondella. Nice to meet you," she smiled cutely, "but my full name is Anya Annabella Krystienne Lucille Amakinna Yssabel Girondella. You can call me by any of those names, except for Krystienne, I hate that name."  
  
They both laughed. Then Anya spotted some candy.  
  
"I spy some candy!" she said playfully, then bought some. "Want some, Harry?"  
  
"Oh sure, I'd love anything from you, darling." He said, then blushed.  
  
She giggled and offered some of Bertie Bott's beans, then ate a few herself.  
  
"Strawberry, bubblegum and blueberry." She said, delightfully.  
  
"I don't know what mine are. one tastes like banana, but bad. I think another one is pancake but I'm not sure." He said, trying to figure out what the beans' flavors were.  
  
"Probably rotten banana. It's a new flavor. Sorry if I sound like a snob, but I was bored in the summer so I memorized all the flavors."  
  
"Oh. So, why haven't I seen you around before?"  
  
"Oh, I'm new. I use to be in a school in America, but I got kicked out because a girl names Elizé was jealous of me and told the headmaster that 'I copied her in an exam, but she changed her answers so that they wouldn't notice. But I showed-off her grade so she thought it would be honest to tell what REALLY happened.' So the headmaster started hating me too!" she started to cry.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I bet things will be much better. I hope you'll be in my house, it's the greatest. I'm sure you'll be in there anyway." He comforted her.  
  
"Oh, thank you Harry. You're the sweetest, like sugar. 'Mind if I call you sugar, sugar?"  
  
They both laughed.  
  
"I think this is the start of a great friendship." Said Harry.  
  
Ron and Hermione butted in.  
  
"Any friend of Harry's is a friend of ours!" said Ron.  
  
They all laughed and had a good time the rest of the trip.  
  
.  
  
I stared puking from the 2nd chapter; that's a good sign, don't you think? How pathetic can this get? VERY. Bulimics should read this story, it'll make puking much easier. If I could describe my story in one word, it would be: puke-ful. Yes, puke-ful. It's my new word. MY WORD. Puke-ful is © NATALIA/NATSUKO. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Now you've gotta wait for the next OUTSANDING chapter by MOI.  
  
Ta ta.  
  
~Nat 


	2. Sorting

Chapter 2: Sorting  
  
The train stopped.  
  
"Oh great, we're here!" said Hermione.  
  
"Goody-noody!" said Anya. "Heehee! It's my favorite expression, don't you think it's cute?" she winked.  
  
"Oh, of course, very cute indeed." Said Ron.  
  
They all walked out of the train.  
  
After a long walk, they were all in the great hall. (A/N: notice how I skipped the details? Typical.)  
  
"This year there will be a new student. She comes from America. She will be the first to be sorted." Said Dumbledore.  
  
"That's not fucking fair. Why does the new bitch get all the attention, we're newer to this than she is!" said a first year.  
  
"I agree." Said her friend. They both glared at the stupid new girl.  
  
"Miss Anya Annabella Krystienne Lucille Amakinna Yssabel Girondella, can you please come up?" said McGonagall.  
  
Anya stood up.  
  
"AHEM. It's AH-n-EE-ah Ah-NUH-bell-UH KR-IH-S-TEE-EN LOO-SEEL AH-MAH-KEE- NUH IH-sa-bell-UH JI-roh-n-DELL-uh! Please pronounce my name right!" she said, trying to sound as sweet as possible.  
  
"Oh, forgive me." Said McGonagall, "I'm very sorry, miss Girondella."  
  
"What a sweet and pretty girl." Thought most of the people.  
  
Anya walked up and sat on the stool. She confidently put the hat on her precious head.  
  
"Aaah. I see intelligence, confidence, honesty, but you're very brave! Very hard indeed, you have the virtues of every house! But you need to be sorted, so I will put you in. GRYFFINDOR!" the hat said.  
  
Everybody clapped, even the slytherins, because they were hypnotized by her radiance.  
  
She walked to the Gryffindor table like if it were a catwalk. She sat in between Harry and Ron.  
  
"Hey boys." she said. They greeted her.  
  
Then a few first years started to be sorted.  
  
.  
  
Author's note: This chapter was different from the first one. In this one, she's not loved by all. I hope the first years are smart and kill the oh-so- loved snobby bitch that nobody could actually care about. Also, this chapter was pretty short, but who cares. That's all, buh-bye.  
  
~Nat 


End file.
